You’ve Planned Your Retirement Paycheck—But Who’s Coming to Brunch?

TPIR Ep 144 Full Show.mp3: Audio automatically transcribed by Sonix

TPIR Ep 144 Full Show.mp3: this mp3 audio file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

Speaker 1:
All right, so you have figured out your retirement paycheck, but who are you having brunch with? Or any meal, for that matter today? Planning a social life that you can take pride in. Welcome to Take Pride in Retirement, the podcast dedicated to helping members of the Lgbtq+ community protect and grow their hard earned money. Get set for a show full of education and insights with your host and advisor, Matt McClure. We recognize every family is unique. The goal of the show is to help you achieve financial freedom, so you and your loved ones can have the retirement you've always dreamed of, a retirement you can take pride in, no matter who you are, where you're from, or who you love. So now let's start the show. Here's Matt McClure. Well, hello there and welcome to another edition of Take Pride in Retirement. Matt McClure here with you, your host, your advisor, your friend, your pal, and yes, even your confidants. And I am Josh retinal. But the attache to the advisor, aka co-host, aka Matt's husband. That's. He does fit into all those categories. That's that's correct. Um, thank you so much for being here, being a part of the show as always, uh, I really do appreciate it. Without you, there is no show. So that's, um, that is the like most important thing that we can say each and every time we start one of these, um, like and subscribe, please.

Speaker 1:
If you're watching us on YouTube. Yes. I said what like and sub subscribe. There we go. Yes, absolutely. It's, it's not the same without the song. Um, and I also have to say that the whole purpose of this show is that no matter who you are or where you come from, who you love, how you identify or how much money you have, you deserve a retirement you can take pride in, that is all there is to it. It's a, it's a fairly simple concept that, uh, the show is based on, but we try to just bring that home each and every week. This week is no different at all. So go to take pride in retirement.com. If anything that we say here, you know, kind of piques your interest or makes you think, oh, I need to maybe get this looked at or I don't know what I'm going to do there or whatever. Like there's a lot to get to here. So just make sure go to take pride in retirement.com. You can set up a free consultation. All right. Yeah. And Matt, we spend so much time talking about replacing that paycheck, right? With retirement. So should we also be talking about planning what our days will look like? Mhm. Well, yeah. I mean, you know, we, we want to always think of that, um, as well, you know, you got to have the money to do the things that you want to do.

Speaker 1:
And that's why we talk about, you know, retirement income so much, but what do you want to do? And like, how do you stay, you know, active socially and from a health standpoint and all of those things, um, you know, retirement changes that routine and your relationships along with your income. So it's a super important conversation to have. And I'm glad that we're that we're doing it this time. And if you are listening to the show, you're approaching retirement. Let's talk about how that money, the money that you have or the money that you will have can support the life that you want, whatever type of retirement you want to have. Let's make it happen. And again, schedule that complimentary consultation. Take pride in retirement.com is the website. Yeah. And I mean, like, what do people, when we think about this? What do they lose when they leave work? Right. Like what do they possibly not thought about that they were used to or wanting to do now that they're retired? It's such a great question because it's like, you know, you sort of depending on your job and your situation and all of those things like work can be a hassle. It can be a drag, it can be something that you love. It can be something that you really devote your life to because you love it.

Speaker 1:
It can be any of those things. But regardless of that, like work does provide a routine. It provides, you know, regular conversations with people. That interaction, it provides a lot of friendships. I have a lot of friends that I've worked with in the past and currently you. I know same thing and it provides that sense of purpose. You know, I mean, not that a job defines you or a career defines you as a human being, but it does provide a sense of purpose. You're going and accomplishing something, whether it's every day, whether it's, you know, a few days a week, whether it's every once in a while you have something to do. Um, it provides a purpose for you when you get to do it. And those everyday interactions, I think to more to your point, are the things that people are going to miss the most, but not going to realize it until they're gone really, um, you know, enjoying the sort of solitude and feeling disconnected. Those are kind of two different things, right? Almost two sides of the same coin a little bit because you can enjoy the solitude or you can really let it get to you and eat away at you. And so you want to find a healthy balance, whatever that looks like for you in retirement. I mean, start building your activities and, and maintaining friendships before retiring.

Speaker 1:
Actually make, you know, if you're going to see maybe people who you work with for the last time at work and you know what your retirement date is like before that, if you've got these friendships that you've forged through the years and you want to stay connected with these people, let them know that first, and then also go ahead and make plans with them for after you're retired, right? Like say, okay, you know, three months from now, let's set a date to go do something, go to this game or go out to dinner or go do whatever. Um, and I feel like that gets you one step ahead, right? Yeah. I mean, people get so used to a routine. I love a routine as a Virgo. I like a bulleted list of things to do. I do like spontaneous things as well, but having a sort of an outline always makes me feel better. Yeah. Um, so I think a lot of people retire and they're like, okay, now I'm stir crazy like, like how much of an empty calendar do you actually want to have, you know, it's beautiful when you can finally relax, obviously. But it's one of those things where like, I'm sure so many people unexpectedly miss the entire routine of having work. Oh, 100%. Like if you are used to doing that each and every day for so many years, like then all of a sudden you don't do that.

Speaker 1:
You know, I've had a few of my clients retire now, and it really is one of the biggest struggles that they have. It's like they either a don't know what to do just period or B, they don't know what to do. They know what they want to do. And then they're like, oh, I kind of miss this thing that kind of used to get on my nerves because I did it every day. Well, now I kind of miss that thing because I got to see all these people and do all the things that we just talked about. And so yeah, it can be kind of this weird mental thing. Um, and the other part of that mentally too is like, you've always had the paycheck coming in well from somebody else. Well, now you've got to pay yourself, right? And, you know, Social Security and those other types of things as well might be other paychecks that you receive in retirement. But like, um, you got to make that mental switch so it all compounds. But yeah, you don't want to have an empty calendar every single day where you're like, there are only so many days you can sit on the front porch and, and sip mint julep under an old magnolia. You know, it just doesn't like every single day for years and years and years, you know, probably drive yourself insane, right?

Speaker 2:
I mean, if for those people that are retiring that have a spouse or they're partnered, I most of the time your partner can't be everything, you know, like as much as we love each other, you know, we have different interests. You know, Matt's totally into video games right now. And I may have been in a massive one called Red dead two, but he's going old school with Zelda now. So like, you have to have some sort of interest because you can't put everything 100% onto your partner. That that is the that's your entire social calendar is going to be that person.

Speaker 1:
Yeah. That's true. Well, and I have to say too, Legend of Zelda may be 40 years old this year, but that's just the original one there, you know, like more than a dozen other Zelda games that have come out since. And the Ocarina of Time remake is coming out next month and I am so excited for it. Okay, that is just an aside to our conversation here. Um, but I may or may not have already put in my pre-order because I cannot wait for someone to buy that for me for Christmas. Um, but if there's anything that you want to buy me that's related to that, great. Um, but yeah, no, it's true. Back to the actual discussion here at hand, your, you know, you don't want to necessarily be everybody's everything all the time when you are in that spousal relationship or a partner relationship. Um, you know, you might have those different interests, you might have even different retirement timelines. So you can't necessarily even rely on that person to be retired at the same time that you are. There could be an age difference there. You know, I've worked with several couples who there's a fairly, fairly significant age difference between the two partners. And so what you got to do is communicate it, right? You've got to discuss the expectations going in. Um, and you've got to just make sure that you're on the same page. Right? And, you know, build some shared traditions that you and your spouse or partner, you know, do and, and, and sort of maintain throughout those years, but also, you know, find maybe those individual friends who maybe are not necessarily people that you have to go hang out with together.

Speaker 1:
Maybe you've got like a friend group that is your like your video game group or something, and you want to talk about your video games and stuff. And the other spouse is like, I would rather jump off a bridge than do that. Um, then they can go and hang out with, you know, their, I don't know, voice actor, motion capture friends. I don't know, I'm just putting this out there because it hits home. But you know, just find still maintain your own interests. And if you have the same interest, great and wonderful. I'm not trying to downplay that at all, but I'm just saying that if you are in that situation, that's a thing that you need to maybe emphasize so that you don't put too much pressure on each other, right? In your retirement years include people like your chosen family, your neighbors, your other friends across generations, right? So, you know, not everybody has to necessarily be of the same age and all that. You know, you maybe hanging out with people who are of a generation younger than you might keep you young, you know? Um, and then I think that's people who are single as well can build new dependable connections in those retirement years also. I mean, maybe those neighbors that you have, uh, that, that you haven't gotten a chance to spend a lot of time with. If you live in a community where there are a lot of activities and things going on. Go to those activities and meet the neighbors and get to know them now because you've got that time on your hands.

Speaker 2:
Yeah. I mean, obviously, I, I love being with that mostly all the time, but I think that it is important that you find things that you individually love. But we share a lot of common interests, which is great. But I mean, that's like for other people, you'd be like, I love you, but do we want to do everything together, right?

Speaker 1:
Yeah. And I'm the same way. Like I, I love spending time with you as well. And like, it's, it's funny because I'll think I've been this year has been kind of a weird one for me travel wise. Like I've been on several like more business trips than usual this year. And normally like on those trips, I'll be like, you know, I'm, I'm fine. I'm fine by myself. Like I'll see the people who are on the trip as well. Like, you know, I'll, I'll have lunch or dinner with the group and I'll have people to see and all that. So I'm not, you know, completely by myself, but I'm without you. And so I'll have I literally, this is just the kind of person I am. And maybe it says a lot about me. I'll have a little conversation with myself and be like, you know what? I'm okay. I'm by myself, but I'm okay. And I'm, you know, I'm fine. I'm not going to go crazy or be too, too lonely or whatever. This year, though, I swear this past, like this very last trip that I took, I was like gone for a day. And after that first day, I was like, okay, let's, um, let's get home. Get home to Josh now. Because, you know, and that's the thing, like you don't necessarily like you want to be okay apart and, you know, okay together as well. Um, so you've got to, I don't know, just make sure that you're on the same page. I feel like it's like with anything in a relationship, we talk about this a lot. Like communication is key here. You know, I mean, that strong relationship that you have doesn't have to be the end all, be all. When it comes to your social life, it can exist within the grander scheme of things, but it can also be, um, you know, something that you don't want to neglect as well. So find a balance, right?

Speaker 3:
And that's what's important to just speak to each other. You know, for the ones that are coupled off, it just makes you like find things that you enjoy together for retirement. I'm sure when we finally retire, you know, we, I know we want to travel, we want to, you know, take a camper out and have a beautiful scenery. You wake up to a cool breeze, etc., you know, and of course, going to lovely casinos. So I mean, just make sure that that you're on the same page about what you want to do. And if you're single, then of course you have more options to find those group of people, whether you want to go hiking, maybe you're a running type of people. I don't know why. Um, but you find you find your thing you want to do with other people.

Speaker 1:
Yeah, it's very true. And again, like, you know, to sort of emphasize this point as well, knowing what you do, what you want to do rather in your retirement years and what you dream of that is part of the battle. It's kind of the first step really, in knowing what your retirement is going to look like. Beyond that, you got to make sure that you're going to have the retirement income to be able to do it. That can be where I come into this whole picture. Like, I mean, I, you know, I make suggestions for things that you might want to do in retirement. Absolutely. Sure. But, you know, I'm not going to be, you know, if you have, uh, champagne and caviar tastes, but you've got a beer and pretzels budget. Um, you know, I don't want to get those kinds of things wrong. So let's make you have that if you've got that champagne and caviar taste, let's get you there so you can actually do those things that you want to do in retirement. Take pride in retirement.com. Once again, is the website consultation absolutely free of any cost or any obligation? Once again, take pride in retirement.com.

Speaker 3:
Yep. I always say Matt is the advisor that cares. He's going to help you the best he can, and if he can't help you, he will show you to someone else that can.

Speaker 1:
Yeah, absolutely. I, you know, I can do a lot of things. Um, you know, sometimes there are things that are just not necessarily in my wheelhouse. And that's why I work with a great team of people and have great like partnerships in the business as well. So if there is something that I'm not quite comfortable with, or I don't maybe have the licensing or the whatever to do, I know I know a guy or two or a gal or two. So we'll get you there. Not, uh, not a doubt in the world.

Speaker 3:
Yeah. Well, how about for the listeners, Matt, that, you know, someone is like yearning for that connection, but they have no idea where to start or to find people. What would you suggest?

Speaker 1:
Oh, yeah. I would say the kind of like that things we were talking about before with common interests start there, you know, like, um, theater, something that we both enjoy music. We also enjoy. Maybe there are people who have like walking groups. You've always been active. You want to stay active in those retirement years, find a walking group in your neighborhood. Um, you know, maybe even check with your friends, your relatives and see if they know about different activities that are going on that might interest you that you don't know about. Um, you know, maybe volunteering, maybe if you have an affirming community of faith that you are a part of, maybe become more involved in your retirement years because you have the time to do it right. If that's something that you're passionate about and these, you know, sort of recurring activities, they can give you that familiarity of almost a routine. But still, they're a lot more flexible, obviously, than having to go into, you know, um, as Dolly said, God rest her soul, um, you know, working, working 9 to 5, it's not that strict and structured. Yeah. And then there also, I'm sure like, you know, we live in the Atlanta area.

Speaker 1:
There are a ton of LGBTQ plus organizations to be a part of welcoming groups that are built around shared interests. Maybe, you know, it's an LGBT gamer group that you could be a part of. I keep going back to that because it's because, you know, Josh brought it up and it hits home. But, you know, you also have to consider the things that have to do with the money as well. Make sure that you can afford to do these things. Make sure you have transportation to these things. Make sure that they are accessible to you. If you've got any sort of physical limitations later on in life, and you got to be comfortable being yourself in these settings, don't just go to do something because it's something to do. Go to do something because it's the right thing to do for you, right? And you know, maybe if you go to something and it doesn't quite fit, fine, you don't have to go back. But if you go to, you know, participate in another group and you're like, okay, this is promising. Give that a few more chances and see if you continue to enjoy it over the long haul. And and you just might.

Speaker 3:
Yeah. I mean, like for us, you know, for Matt and me, it's we have, you know, outside of his work and outside of my acting jobs, we love going to like distilleries. We love going to wineries. Um, we, I love being outside period. So of course we have dogs. We have cats. We, you know, we have animals that take up a lot of time. But our interest, you know, those are our common interests that we have with each other. We love films. We love like watching cool television shows and binge watching them, particularly stuff that's in Britain. Um, yeah. So I mean, just like discuss that with, you know, whatever, and, you know, discuss what makes a group feel welcoming, like what's going to make you want to return to that group or your friends or whatever.

Speaker 1:
Yeah. Well, it's funny because you are so much more outgoing. I feel like just in general than I am when we're out in public and people are around who we don't know I am, I'll go up and I'll talk to people. I'm just not as necessarily as assertive about it as you are because you'll you'll start a conversation. Like, I mean, it could be like with the lamppost out front, like you would. Like literally are unafraid and I am just a little bit more on the. Quite a bit more on the reserved side in those type of settings. And so. I feel like you find these meaningful connections no matter where you are. Because you just love people and getting to know people and connecting in that way. Um, but like, yeah, I mean, I, you know, I volunteer at our church quite a bit and doing like audio visual stuff and all of that. And so just having that, whatever that common connection is, that common purpose with a group I feel like is great. And, you know, again, it's just you got to make sure what is right for you, not what may have been right for somebody else. It's much like retirement planning from a financial standpoint, because this retirement plan worked for your mom or your dad or your aunt or uncle or Jim Bob down the road doesn't mean that it's going to necessarily work for you. Same thing with what you want to do in retirement. You know, like your great friends may love to travel in retirement. And then you start out traveling and you're like, yeah, I don't necessarily love this as much as I thought I would. Well, find something else to do that interests you, not based on something that you know, that somebody else did.

Speaker 3:
Yeah. Okay. Mr. advisor, let's say, how does one go from. I need to get out more. How do they make that part of a financial plan for them?

Speaker 1:
Well, you got to take a look at everything, right? You've got to make sure that you include part of your, you know, your budget in retirement for things like meals with friends, any classes that you might want to take, if you're trying to learn a new skill or a new hobby or just, you know, learn a little bit more about something else, even if it's like history or something like that. You know, if you're taking some sort of a class, tickets, memberships, transportation, all those things have to be figured in right balance. The paid activities with the free ones or the inexpensive ones. I always say that free fits right into my budget. And it does everybody's. So, you know, make sure that you have about whatever that balance is for you. Make sure that it fits into your budget for retirement. You also got a budget for visits to important people who may live elsewhere. Some of our best friends live in Nashville. You know, we also have some of our best friends and family live in New York. Some people live out West, so it's like, you know, fit that into your budget plans as well. And, you know, maintaining connections after a move is important too, because if you pick up stakes and leave where you've been forever, um, you know, you've got to make sure that you stay in touch with the people who are most important to you and don't let those connections fall by the wayside and put in some effort.

Speaker 1:
Like, you know, I often will, will say, well, we'll tell, I'll tell Josh. I'll be like, you can't, you know, expect everybody to react or behave the same way that you would in a given situation. So don't just think that. Oh, because well, my great friend moved away. I would check on them. Well, you know, because somebody doesn't reciprocate, that doesn't necessarily mean that they don't care. They just have their life and they're busy. So put in some effort on, on both sides there. Um, but, you know, planned spending can really help you feel comfortable enjoying that money again. That's one of the biggest sort of mental roadblocks for people enjoying that money or even spending it in retirement. It can be very difficult. Um, you know, say 150 bucks a month you want to put aside for social activities. It's about 1800 bucks a year for, um, you know, those types of different social activities that that's an expense to plan for, right? If you're, if you're like, I'm going to do X, Y, and Z each and every month. And those are going to be my social activities. Maybe some of them are free, some of them are paid or some of them are inexpensive. Um, then just plan that out over the year and say like, okay, here's my chunk of change for that. Boom. Done.

Speaker 3:
Yeah. And I'd say, just make sure that you name an experience that you would happily, you know, spend the money on for that enjoyment or the relationship of what that brings. I mean, like, for us, like, I always want to make sure we're not house poor or we have enough money to go out to dinner or go to a nice restaurant or even just a get a coffee. You know, like something that brings simple joy. Just make sure that you're having that conversation with your spouse, your partner, or yourself to make sure that you're budgeting that. So you're like, no, I know once a week I want to go out to a new winery or I want to do whatever, you know, just make sure that's part of the conversation you're having with your person or yourself.

Speaker 1:
Yes, exactly. I mean, I include the life that you want to enjoy as I, as I always say, it's we kind of refer to it as a smart vision for retirement. You know, what do you envision for those retirement years? Include that when you're estimating those retirement expenses?

Speaker 3:
Yeah. All right. Matt, for the listeners today, what is one thing someone could do this week to start building that social life?

Speaker 1:
Well, you know, I would.

Speaker 3:
Not tell me. Exercise. Do not tell me exercise.

Speaker 1:
Well, this is the this is the thing. This is something that I need to start doing. And that doesn't even necessarily have to be a social thing, although it can be if you want to join a local gym or go to like, you know, if you're, if you are of retirement age, like a silver sneakers, sort of a program that may be in your local area, that's a great way to actually meet people. But I would sit down and I would actually take a look at sort of a realistic month where maybe there's not a whole lot going on. So not like around the holidays or, or, you know, anything like that, but, you know, maybe just write down one recurring activity that gets you around people. It could be an exercise class like that, or it could be some sort of new hobby that you're going to do or whatever. Just people, you know, with, with a like minded sort of outlook, right? One relationship to maintain through a specific get together, right? So a friend that you've had for a long time, maybe a coworker who you just hate to leave when you retire, that, that sort of thing, make it a point to get together with them once a month, and then one new experience that you might be curious about. Map all of that out. And then if you're in a couple situation, make a calendar. Uh, you know, you can do like we have like a family calendar that all of our stuff is on together. Um, or you can just maintain separate calendars and then compare your sort of expectations and then choose something to do together on top of those kind of separate things that you envision. So, you know, it's, it doesn't have to be rocket science here. Um, but maybe just a little bit of planning can go a long way in making sure that you are not bored to tears.

Speaker 3:
Yeah. That sounds like me. Like, you know, it doesn't have to be completely planned, but a nice bullet list of something and you could compare it with your partner or your, your person and just, you know, make the expectations realistic and just still leave room for the spontaneity, right? Like, I love surprises, but I like surprises with some sort of structure.

Speaker 1:
Yes, absolutely. And if you are listening or watching, uh, you know, reach out to somebody this week. And that's your homework. I mean, not really, but but, you know, it's a good idea. I feel like reach out to somebody this week. Just contact one person and schedule something to do with them. You know, whether you're retired or not. It's a good idea and can get you, especially if you've kind of been cooped up or whatever. And, and I know we're, we just left the hot, hot months of summer behind. And hopefully it's not going to get too hot again. Uh, but, you know, go out and if you've just felt like doing nothing but sitting inside, inside with the air conditioning on, then get out there and do something with somebody. Make it a point to do that.

Speaker 3:
Yeah. So when we're picturing retirement, what should we be asking ourselves besides, do I have enough money?

Speaker 1:
Yeah. I mean, that is the that's kind of the question that a lot of people ask. And even the better question to ask is, do I have enough income rather than just do I have enough money? Right. Because income is where it's at in retirement, when you're looking at what you want to do. But the big thing is how do I want to spend my days? Who do I want to spend those days with? And does my financial plan support those answers to those questions? I mean, it really is. It really can be as simple as that. Like, let's take a look at those sort of big picture things. And then we can, we can nail it down to, here's what you need to do to get there.

Speaker 3:
Yeah. And I would just say start small. You know, a person, an activity, an actual date on the calendar. I mean, one of those could be like going with your spouse to meet Matt to discuss retirement. That's getting out of the house. If you want to do it in person, or it could be on Zoom or whatever. Um, just that's making a plan and that's doing something. But obviously, you know, just, just make sure that you don't feel stuck in retirement, that your life is over because you're not working. Just make sure that you, you have something to look forward to and you have the budget to do it. Yeah. Great plan.

Speaker 1:
Exactly. A plan that's built for whatever you want to do in your retirement years. And if you want help, you know, sort of connecting those dots, right? Connecting the goals with your finances and getting a plan together that's going to help you achieve those goals. Schedule that complimentary consultation once again, take pride in retirement.com. You can also call 855246921185524692. 11 complimentary consultation. It means free folks. It can meet by Zoom or at the office in the metro Atlanta area if you happen to be here. All right. Well, that as I look at the old clock on the wall is going to do it for this edition of the show. But nice doing business with you, Mr. Attache. Pleasure, Mr. McClure. Appreciate it very much. And we appreciate you listening to or watching the show. Thank you so, so much. And remember to. Until next time. Take pride in yourselves and take care of each other. We'll see you then. Thanks for listening. To Take Pride in Retirement, members of the LGBTQ plus community deserve to work with a fiduciary financial advisor who puts their needs first. To schedule a free, no obligation consultation with Matt McClure and the team at Active Wealth Management. Call (855) 246-9211 or go online to take pride in retirement.com. Investment advisory services offered through Brookstone Capital Management LLC, a registered investment advisor, Bxm and Active Wealth Management Incorporated are independent of each other. Insurance products and services are not offered through Bxm, but are offered and sold through individually licensed and appointed agents. Any examples used are for illustrative purposes only and do not take into account your particular investment objectives, financial situation or needs and may not be suitable for all investors. It is not intended to predict the performance of any specific investment, and is not a solicitation or recommendation of any investment strategy. Registered investment advisors and investment advisor representatives act as fiduciaries for all of our investment management clients. We have an obligation to act in the best interest of our clients and to make full disclosures of any conflicts of interest. Please refer to our firm brochure, the ADV two A item four for additional information.

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